Personal Care

I had already been plan­ning a trip to the gro­cery store to pick up some toi­let bowl clean­er after my lunch with Sam today. And yes­ter­day told me that I could stand to take some groom­ing and fash­ion tips from the gay guys I’m sur­round­ed by. So when Sam sug­gest­ed that I get some whiten­ing strips for my teeth, well, I try to do what Sam sug­gests any­way, but I went right to Safe­way and got some. Along with scuff cov­er for my shoes, facial scrub stuff “for men”, and the fan­cy cit­rus-vanil­la soap I recent­ly received com­pli­ments for.

So I went through the check­out and the cashier picked up the soap almost like it was an alien arti­fact. “What is this?” he asked with some com­bi­na­tion of fas­ci­na­tion and dis­gust at the $5/bar scent­ed cel­lu­lose prod­uct, “is it all-nat­ur­al or something?”

“Beats me,” I said, “a cute girl said it smelled nice. That’s all I care about.”

He nod­ded approv­ing­ly as he rang up the rest of my eighty bucks worth of cos­met­ic care products.

Sam­ple And Hold—Neil Young