Another day gone by

Well, about the only thing productive I did today was working out. I went with Jeff and so I got to do benchpresses, which I don’t do if I go alone. Some things just shouldn’t be done without a spotter.

I was amazed at the number of beautiful women at the gym this afternoon, too. And I don’t mean the cookie-cutter california bitch kind of toned, tanned, blonde and bony that we see around here so much, I mean really beautiful. Drop-dead gorgeous with personality. Stunning. Just stunning.

Feeling good!

Woke up at a reasonable hour, wrote my morning pages, had breakfast, and went to the gym. Now it’s noon and I’m just getting ready to start my workday, so it’s not a perfect day, but not bad.

Vision

I went to a visions meditation and ceremony today. It was really calming and more than a little revealing.

Investigating my vision for myself is about uncovering more aspects of the vision I’ve always had for myself rather than inventing something new. Sometimes aspects take on new meanings, but the process is remembering and allowing myself to realize that these things are possible, or at least that I deserve to have this perfect thing, even if it’s only in my imagination.

Be vewwy vewwwy quiet....

… I’m hunting jobs.

Which are of course, more elusive than wascawwy wabbits.

I figure if I can’t bring myself to do the kind of work I have on my plate, that I’d better take some action to get some other kind of work. This brings up a lot of fear of rejection and all that of course. What if I find a company I’d really like to work for and THEY don’t like ME? A load of horsepucky of course, but those feelings keep coming up.

Maybe I should receive threats more often

So last night I went to the gym, and what an amazing difference some good (or bad) motivation can do! It was unbelievable. For a while after Vikki and I split I would watch myself in the mirror telling myself I was building the body SHE CAN’T HAVE. Which was great. It kept some fire in me and I made some pretty decent progress in a short while.

Fill her up

There’s this Sting song on Brand new Day called Fill her up which sounds kind of annoying because Sting does this imitation of an American accent, but it tells a story which really resonates with me.

It’s about a guy who works at a gas station in the middle of nowhere and some city slicker shows up in a fancy sportscar taking his hot babe fiancee to Vegas to get married («yeah, that’s a real diamond»). The teller of the story resents his boss and starts dreaming of stealing the cashbox and running off to take his sweetie somewhere. As the city slicker drives away,

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