My Weakness, I Detest Thee

I was hop­ing for four miles today. Fake miles, even. On the tread­mill. Instead, I did three. Three miles in 28:45, which is not noti­ci­bly bet­ter than nine minute miles.

In a relat­ed mat­ter, I seem to be gain­ing weight like a mad­man. I’m up over 81 kilos, which makes me heav­ier than I’ve been since May or June of 2001.

The more self-esteem I gar­ner and the more atten­tion I get from women, the less moti­vat­ed I am to get into the gym and real­ly pun­ish myself. Wal­low­ing in depres­sive self-loathing was good for my body. I won­der if I need to bail on the antidepressants.

TCS