What bowl?

A few days ago on my way out of the bank after mak­ing a deposit for a client (not the sort of thing I usu­al­ly do, but if it helps the checks clear it’s time well spent) the branch man­ag­er (an over­ly friend­ly man, but that’s prefer­able to the alter­na­tive) said to me, «enjoy the game!»

I stopped to think and turned to him. «Game?»

«Yeah,» he chuck­led. «There’s a foot­ball game. You might have heard?»

Of course by now I knew what he was talk­ing about. I said, «isn’t foot­ball sea­son over?»

The branch man­ag­er appeared gen­uine­ly shocked. He said, «no! the Super Bowl is this weekend!»

«Are the ‘Nin­ers in it?» I asked. Once again I knew the answer to the ques­tion before I asked. When the answer came back no, I said, «yeah, sea­son’s over then.» He either got it then or pre­tend­ed to: he laughed and said, «good point.»

I’ve nev­er been much of a foot­ball fan. I can appre­ci­ate the game when it’s put in front of me, and I have to give cred­it to the pro­duc­ers of TV foot­ball for hav­ing done the impos­si­ble mak­ing a game some­one else is play­ing inter­est­ing on tele­vi­sion. I love base­ball but can’t bring myself to watch it on TV. Foot­ball actu­al­ly is more enter­tain­ing and inter­est­ing on TV than it is in person.

But I won’t be watch­ing the game this year. No inter­est at all. I grew up in New Eng­land, so it should go with­out say­ing both that I’m not a Patri­ots fan1 and that I have a knee-jerk hatred for any team from New York.

Since the ‘Nin­ers are leav­ing San Fran­cis­co any­way, I do have a fan­ta­sy that would actu­al­ly make this year’s Super Bowl rel­e­vant: the New York Giants should move to San Fran­cis­co, take over Can­dle­stick, and let both our teams be the Giants.

When the Giants beat the Patri­ots a cou­ple years ago (beat­ing some very long pre­dict­ed odds) some­one on one of my forums or mail­ing lists wrote, «today, God smiled on the New York Giants.» I replied: «that hap­pened in 1957».

It would be great if it hap­pened again. I may have that New Eng­lan­der knee-jerk hatred for all New York teams, but the Giants could entire­ly redeem them­selves in my eyes by doing what so many oth­er New York­ers do: move to San Francisco.

  1. No one from New Eng­land who is old enough to vote is a Patri­ots fan. They nev­er won any games and no one cared enough about them to pay atten­tion to until the Sep­tem­ber 11th attacks, when pro foot­ball proved itself to be just as rigged as pro wrestling by bring­ing the Patri­ots — the losingest team in foot­ball — for­ward to win the Super Bowl. Any­one from New Eng­land can tell you that the Bad News Bears have a bet­ter chance of win­ning the Super Bowl than the Patri­ots, unless the game is rigged. And yes, I know the Bad News Bears was a fic­tion­al base­ball, not foot­ball, team 

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