Burning My Oatmeal

This is the sec­ond time I’ve burned my oat­meal by for­get­ting it was on the stove after being dis­tract­ed by women online. I pro­pose a new euphemism: «burn­ing my oat­meal» for all forms of neglect­ing one’s well-being or any oth­er duties because of fol­low­ing The Impe­ri­ous Urge. As in: «I’m sor­ry, what were you say­ing? I was total­ly burn­ing my oat­meal.» or «There was a board meet­ing today? Oh crap, I guess I real­ly burned the oat­meal this time.»… Read the rest

Short but Steep

So today in an attempt to reclaim some of my cycling hon­or after hav­ing giv­en climbed only halfway to Geary Ave from Ocean beach the oth­er day, I rode from my apart­ment to the Mount David­son cross. On the map, that’s only about one and a third miles, but it’s a climb to 927 feet above sea lev­el from my place off of Mis­sion Street. I don’t know what the alti­tude is here, but I rode past Glen park BART … Read the rest

I’m not the billygoat I used to be

I’m about 50 feet above sea lev­el – if that – and I’ve had to stop and rest for the last 10 min­utes. What hap­pened to the days when I climbed moun­tains on my bike just to say I had?

Still, I can­not com­plain. I used to call in sick to work just to ride my bike in the moun­tains. Today is the first time I’ve rid­den in months. It’s a plea­sure I allow myself so rarely that the plea­sure has … Read the rest

Depression, redux

It occurred to me not too long ago that the rea­son I was on the freaky no wheat or corn or toma­to diet was that I felt a lot bet­ter after I tried it. Among the ben­e­fits for me were decreased men­tal fog, greater ener­gy, and ele­vat­ed mood.

I noticed that if I, for exam­ple, had a piz­za, the next day I’d have low men­tal clar­i­ty, depressed mood, no moti­va­tion, and zero energy.

I’ve been “cheat­ing” on it for a while … Read the rest

The BBQ diet

82.0 kg this morn­ing. I’m bloat­ed like a piece of Microsoft code.

Woo! Time to go have a bar­beque and eat lot­sa fat snacks. At the very least it’ll be me and Erik. It’s a beau­ti­ful day over here and it’s bound to be even nicer over there. I’m still going to bring a cou­ple movies, if for no oth­er rea­son as a super­sti­tious ges­ture to pre­vent rain.… Read the rest

Bummer!

I’m sup­posed to be hav­ing a birth­day bar­beque for myself on Sun­day, but like every oth­er event I’ve ever planned, I haven’t both­ered invit­ing any­one because I’m too depressed. It’s not actu­al­ly my birth­day, but since my birth­day is near Christ­mas it’s hard to find peo­ple around then. Sun­day is 33-and-a-third for me, four months after Decem­ber 27th.

It seems kin­da too late to start invit­ing peo­ple, but hope­fullt I can find a per­son or two who … Read the rest

Life’s Work Center

80.8kg this morn­ing, but here I am cheat­ing again because this is the first time I’ve weighed myself in the morn­ing, when I’m nat­u­ral­ly lighter. Nev­er­the­less, I con­tin­ue forg­ing ahead. I plan to make it to the gym tonight.

I’m skip­ping my Life’s Work Cen­ter ses­sion today. I’m filled with fear that I’m fuck­ing up my work for anoth­er client. What’s messed up is that what I want to do is not fire away kick­ing ass at … Read the rest